I can't believe it

I leave tomorrow.  I'm freaking out. But not for the reasons one would assume.  I'm freaking out because I am so unusually calm about this.  I have had friends and family members cry saying goodbye to me, and I just stand there, and rather than feeling the sadness they seem to be feeling, I feel fine.  I feel weirdly, oddly, extremely unusually fine and seemingly not bothered by the fact that I will be leaving this place for six whole months.  I know it's happening, but I don't think it will be truly validated until I am there and getting acquainted in my new home, with my new family, speaking a new language, in a new country.  I think maybe when the realization of the length of this journey resonates with me, as well as when I feel the first tinges of missing people from home, I will have that break-down moment.  That 'cry until you can't anymore, look at old pictures, read old letters, sob your heart out' moment of utter pain and realization.  I hope that I feel those emotions at some point.  I hope that they are strong and true and that I can let them be present for enough time to feel the capacity and depth of them, and then let them go.  I have to let those emotions go, because if I don't they will hold me back from being present in Argentina and from living in the moment while there.  I also must let those emotions go because they are only a part of how I'm sure I will be feeling at that point in time.  I know for a fact that I will remain excited and willing to learn (mistakes included, of course).

As for now, I remain undisturbed, as I pack my life away into 2 suitcases and 1 backpack.  Now let me preface this by saying I HATE PACKING.  Like hate it.  Like I would rather being doing almost anything else.  I either pack too much, too little, or just forget something very important.  Therefore, this was a process, and being done now with both suitcases weighing in at just under the weights the plane allows, is an accomplishment.  And now, I sit back, relax, put my feet up, and begin to think of the things that I forgot to pack.

And there they are - my friends for the next two days as I travel to Argentina (notice the backpack is still open because I am shoving everything I've forgotten into it!)

Well here I go!  Tonight I will say the rest of my goodbyes and tomorrow morning I will head to Newark, New Jersey.  From there I will fly to Panama City, Panama, and then I will fly to Córdoba, Argentina...my new home and 'el gran desconocido'!