The value of encouragement.

Sometimes, you just need a little boost, someone to tell you "you have worth, you are loved, you have value that you don't even see."  Sometimes we all need that extra little (or huge) push to keep going, to feel motivated, and feel like we have a purpose. 

That was me last week and this past weekend.  I felt like a bad friend, bad future social worker, bad student, ect.  I could go on and on and on.  I kept asking myself "Why am I here?"  I felt like I should have given up my place here at Eastern for someone who actually wanted it, because at that point in time I had no desire to be here, to learn, to go to my internship, to try to be a social worker...I did not actually want to do any of that. 

Everything was just going wrong.  My internship was horrible.  I was doing nothing all day long.  Every single homework assignment felt like a marathon...that is if I even did it.  And I was going to my classes in a bad mood and maintaining that mood for the whole class.  I was in a funk, and I can't even give you a good reason as to why.

However, on Sunday things began to look up.  First of all, it was SUNNY.  I so miss the Argentina heat, and how that sun is always shining.  I also went to Philly, hung out with my sister, went for a walk, made a delicious meal and ate it together, and then laughed hysterically watching Impractical Jokers (dad, that was for you).  It was laid-back time away from all the typical stresses of my days that I so needed and appreciated.

Then, I came back to my room Sunday night, looked at my phone, and saw that a friend (who truly does not know me that well), sent me a super long, very heart-felt text explaining that he was praying for me.  The last part of the text, and the part that really struck me the most was, "Prayers of perseverance, endurance, and God's power being made perfect in your weakness are being placed at the Lord's feet on your behalf."

God's power being made perfect in my weakness.

God's flawlessness makes it so that my human shortcomings are nothing that he can't overcome.  In moments of weakness, I just need be reminded of God who is never weak.  His power and love are always perfect, and they are always present.

Needless to say, I was beginning to feel encouraged and loved, but that was just the beginning.  I awoke Monday morning to a text from a friend (who had no idea I was suffering), just reminding me of how much she looks up to me, values our friendship, and other bits of encouragement.  I read the text and just chuckled, but in awe as well.  I always say that I see and feel God's presence through other people, through their words and actions.  I feel like God knows that, and so he uses people to reach me.  He continually blesses me with amazing Christ-loving individuals who encourage me, listen to me, and send me random texts as reminders of their love and care for me. 

Some people hate technology, and normally I am one of those people, but recently, I have found texting to be a fantastic, powerful way to remind someone of their importance in your life and how loved they are.  I would encourage everyone that when they think about someone, just send that person a text, remind them who they are to you and who they are to Christ, and the effects are absolutely beautiful and I don't question for one second that those moments aren't illustrated by our Creator.

To continue the whole positive vibe of the week, on Tuesday I got to my internship, was handed a case to work on, went on a home visit, and made phone calls to clients.  That may sound boring or weird to some of you but in the realm of social work that all equals one thing: CLIENT CONTACT.  AKA: talking with clients.  AKA: the best way to learn, and exactly what I had been lacking.

And then today, I went on a home visit in the morning, which was with a Spanish speaking client (which is normal, all the clients I have met thus far are Spanish-speaking only).  Then I went on another home visit in the afternoon to an Arabic speaking client, which was amazing.  We had an interpreter, and I just sat in awe listening to this language that I did not understand one word of.  How awesome is it that in one day I went on two home visits, none of which were clients that spoke English?! 

For this language nerd, today was my dream day.  Anytime I hear a foreign language, I am reminded by how big this Earth is, and that only a God who is huge and powerful and loving of diversity and differences could create a world in which so many different people speaking so many different languages could live together.

So the two days at my internship were also very encouraging.  I feel like I can do social work.  I can confidently walk into clients home's, meet them exactly where they are (literally), and help them in a way that is empowering and takes into consideration cultural differences.  I can help the Arabic speaking mother, I can help the Spanish speaking children, I can help the single father.  I feel competent, and purposeful, and like I want to encourage these individuals the way I have been encouraged this week.         

Beginnings

I found this ecard SO FUNNY!!!  Being raised Catholic wasn't always easy, as every Ash Wednesday, I had to wake up before the sun to get to church, get ashes on my forehead and then with so much guilt wipe it all of on my way to school.  I never felt too bad about it, until I saw another Catholic kid in school proudly displaying his or her ashes on their forehead.  Then I felt like crap, complete crap.

This Ash Wednesday definitely crept up on me.  Yesterday, my agency was closed due to the snow (insert me cheering here), so I was able to spend some time thinking and praying about this Lent season.

This verse really struck me: "We have been sanctified through the offerring of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." -Hebrews 10:10
We are sanctified through Christ, yet we are undeserving. We are not worthy of this kind of grace, love, or offering.  We are faulty, broken, and sinful.  He is perfect, sinless, and whole.  I guess that is why he is our Savior.  We need a flawless Savior to extend us grace, to save us from things of this world, to teach us, to love us, and to offer his only son for us.  that kind of love and grace is only found in the Father, and this season is the perfect time to reflect on that.  

There are a few ways to think about Lent: the beginning, the end, or the beginning of the end.  This Lent especially, I am choosing to think of it as the beginning...the beginning of a new era, the time leading up to resurrection which began it all.  We have laid out for us in the gospels the most perfect love story; one in which our Savior chose to help the least of these, chose to meet people where they were, chose to love on those whom society had determined unlovable and unworthy.  He saw worth in every single person and he loved them as if they were his own kin.  Because they were; we are.  We are all undeservedly his.

When I really think about that, I am so humbled and in awe of that kind of love.  The kind that chose to live among the prostitutes, the poor, the ill, the most sinful, those who were oppressed, marginalized, and discriminated against, the kind that we cannot perfectly reenact, but the kind that we can strive to attain...to see every person as a child of God, as someone that is so loved by our Savior, their Savior, whether they know it or not.  That kind of love is indescribably perfect.     

Desconocido sigue..

“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.” Hebrews 8:10

Reading that passage makes me think of a few things:

1.       The courage that Abraham had to go into a new place, meet new people, call that place home.

2.       The commitment that Abraham displays to God, to his word, and to the fact that God had complete control over his life.

3.       The faith that Abraham possessed to enable him to make that move, knowing full well it was the plans of the father that led him there.

If I had just a bit more courage, commitment, and faith, what would I do?  If you had just a bit more courage, commitment, and faith, what would you do?  If we had just a bit more courage, commitment, and faith, what would we do together?

In the past few weeks, I feel like God has been giving me an intense, grueling lesson in these three words: their meanings, their purposes, and the easy ways they can be used to do more damage than good.  Not only has coming back from Argentina been difficult in readjusting to life here, missing life there, and wondering why in the world am I here?, I also have taken on a new challenge, a new unknown, one that has taken me out of the (repulsive) comfort of Wayne, PA and into the often frowned-upon, somewhat dangerous, diverse, and absolutely beautiful Kensington, Philadelphia. 

I am currently interning at an agency that provides services to the Latino community of Kensington, Philadelphia.  I am working in a program that offers services to families who have at least one child with a disability.  Mix extreme poverty with a language barrier (they are all Spanish speaking only), with a lack of healthcare, and with a severe special need, and you have a mix of issues that make for some incomprehensibly sad and scary circumstances.  I go into homes, see where they live, and see and understand how the environment also adds another negative factor.

Kensington may be full of landfills, and violence, and drugs, and crime, but it is also full of cultures, of hard-workers (you try working numerous minimum wage jobs to support your family…hard as heck), of people who love the Lord, and most importantly of our brothers and sisters in Christ.  They are ours, because we are all his. 

 Every Tuesday and Thursday, I wake up early and make the trek into the city.  I leave the tranquility of Wayne behind in exchange for Kensington. ..and then vice versa when I come back at night.  To give you an idea of the stark contrast between the two, here are some pictures.  You can guess which is which. 

I stare at these inequalities every day and cringe, I get sad, and I wonder why me?  Why do I get to come back to the comfort of Eastern? Why do I not live in Kensington? What made me get this life instead of that one?  What made them get that life instead of this one?

So basically, I’m on a new adventura in the unknown.  So I guess the name of the blog still fits, and this will now just be an outlet for me, a way to release my feelings, ideas, shortcomings, successes.  A way to write and realize, a way to express and be heard, and way to continually strive to see where God is leading me in this life…maybe another place that is desconocido.