After looking up the definition of "adventure" I found that it completely describes what I am about to do. Each of the five definitions together encapsulate the whole and complexity of my emotions as I embark on this journey.
Adventure:
Noun: an exciting or very unusual experience; participation in exciting undertakings
or enterprises: the spirit of adventure, a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous
action of uncertain outcome, a commercial or financial speculation of any kind;
venture; and obsolete.
Well that pretty much
completely sums it up. In adventure there exists excitement, risk,
hazards, uncertainties, and much of it all is unknown. I am currently
feeling the effects of these realities. Hi. I'm Kerri. I'm about to do something crazy. I am about to get on a plane without my family, without my friends, without any sense of comfort, and travel to what I am naming the 'grand unknown': Córdoba, Argentina. I am a Spanish, Social Work double major at the tiny, private, Christian, liberal arts school outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania known as Eastern University and for as long as I can remember studying abroad has been my dream. It still is. However, there comes this strangely terrifying moment when you realize that your dream is actually coming true and in that realization some of the beauty of the dream turns into complete terror. Healthy, reasonable, not overbearing, yet definitely uncomfortable-terror. This may sound over the top or dramatic, but I think that anyone who is about to leave everything they know for six whole months and go somewhere completely new would experience a similar feeling. Then, add to it the fact that in this new place, they speak your second language, you're going to live with a family you've never met, you have to take classes and try to not ruin your almost perfect GPA, and you know for a fact (because you bought a two-way plane ticket) that you cannot come home until the six months are over. That's my reality. I leave in 21 days.
Now don't get me wrong, I am so excited, but that excitement only levels out my fear. I am excited to be immersed in the language that I have been learning for what feels like an eternity. I am excited to meet new people and explore new places. I am excited for adventures and spur of the moment plans. I am excited to mess up because it means I am trying. I am excited to grow and change as a more well-rounded person with an expanded worldview. I am excited to fall in love with another place and culture, but I'm scared. I'm scared of messing up. I'm scared of not learning enough. I'm scared of how much I will change. And most of all, I'm scared of the reality that while I am gone, life here continues, and people here may and probably will change. I'm scared of how different relationships will be when I return. Change is exciting and terrifying in a beautifully humbling way. So let the adventure begin...
