25 days and counting

I have officially been here for 25 days.  I've been gone for 27, but here in Cordoba for 25.  It does not feel like that long, but at the same time it feels like so much longer.  I can't explain it; I'll let you know if I figure out how to. 

In the past 25 days I think I have grown more as a person, an independent person, than I ever have before in my life.  I have had to figure out more things on my own than I can count, and there is something so scary, exhilarating and just great about that.  Although the terrifying reality of my parents not being just a phone call away kind of sucks, it also is a great way to force myself to learn, or rather I should say force myself to make mistakes and then learn from them.

Prior to coming here if I was ever lost, needed help, wanted advice, needed to vent/complain/cry/scream/be excited about anything, I would immediately talk to my parents or sisters or a friend.  Here, that opportunity does not usually exist, or it does, but not with the people who know me best, and I think the outcome of that is so positive.  I have had to be alone in my own thoughts, find my way through this huge city alone, give myself the advice I think my loved ones would, and learn to be content with my feelings, feel them to their extent, and then release them appropriately if necessary.  I have had to completely rely on myself and it has been wonderful in an extremely challenging way.

I have learned so much about the person I am, the kind of people I am drawn to, and how I best function.  At home I am surrounded by people who already know these things about me so I don't even have to be aware of them, but here, no one knows me (or knew me), and I've had to explain myself.  In my explanations and ways of expressing myself, I am learning about what I love, what I hate, my strengths, my weaknesses, and what motivates me to continue in this journey and to continue pursing the things that I am the most passionate about.

I've learned that I thrive with intentional people.  People who want to sit down without technology and talk about whatever is on their heart.  I love having someone open up their heart to me, while also desiring for me to do the same.  People who want to know my every thought and who are willing to share theirs as well, people who outright feel every emotion that touches their heart because they can't help but be real, people who radiate love and warmth without even saying a single word, people who hug because they know we were designed for proximity, and people who reflect humility while simultaneously confidently knowing their purpose.

I've learned that I love a balance between a schedule and nothing.  I love a structured day with lots to do, but I also love a day free, where I find myself hearing stories from mi abuela about her childhood, or helping her pick out paint colors for her arts and crafts.  I love both kinds, because in both I see things being accomplished.  In a busy day, much is completed.  In a day of nothing, conversation is had, learning takes place, and people grow closer together.  Both types are necessary, and I think prior to coming here I was a pretty even split between the two, but now I may be leaning more towards one of them.  Take your guess as to which one ;)

I'm learning that I love to learn.  Even if it is just mi abuela telling me about something she heard on the news, I love it.  I love new information, I love hearing someone's point of view, and I love spending time taking in, processing, and then thinking hard about whatever it is that I've learned.  I love learning best from other people. I believe that no article or book can correctly depict every word, feeling, and belief that one can be trying to explain.

I'm learning that I love culture.  I don't think I experienced culture shock, and I don't think I am going to.  Are things so very different here?  HECK YES.  But I love it.  And I don't mean that I love all the differences, I just love that there are differences.  I love that this culture is unique, that each family is unique and that these people are devoted to their culture and their way of life. I knew I loved learning about other cultures before coming here, but now I know that I just love being in other cultures and experiencing them for myself, because let's face it, no amount of learning in a classroom and actually do justice to the taste of empanadas, criollos con dulce de leche, or asada.

I'm only 25 days in; I know I have a long way to go, but I can't help but feel like the past 25 days have been a success.  A challenging, trying, exciting, terrifying, delicious success.  I am only looking forward to the next 4 months and 15 days.